Donations To NAMBLA Seem Appropriate Since JPMorgan Chase Has A History Of Financially Molesting People
An open letter to JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon.
April 3, 2012
Dear Jamie Dimon,
I know you’re a busy guy like me, so I will make this letter short and to the point.
MFI-Miami did an investigation for a client who had a loan serviced Chase Home Finance over three years ago. We did the report and handed it to her attorney in April of 2009. In addition, I have also not had any contact with this client since I wrote the report.
Yet, I receive 15 calls a week on my cell phone from JPMorgan Chase asking for her.
I continually tell your employees that they have the wrong number for this client. I also ask for them to remove me from their database. The hundreds of customer service people have assured me my phone number would be removed from the file. Yet, the removal of my name has not happened. Furthermore, this morning alone I have received two more calls from JPMorgan Chase asking for this client.
QUIT CALLING ME!
It seems like your employees that call me from far off lands lack a command of the English language.
Therefore, I am providing you and or them with the phrase, “Quit Calling Me” in several languages. This should cover nearly all of your employees:
German: Ruft mich verlassen!
Greek: κλείστε μου τηλεφωνείς (kleíste mou tilefoneís)
Spanish: Deja de llamarme!
Italian: Smettere di chiamarmi!
French: Quitter m’appeler!
Hindi: मुझे फोन छोड़ने के (mujhē phōna chōṛanē kē)
Portugese: Parar de me chamar!
Swahili: Kuacha simu mimi!
Tagalog: itigil ang pagtawag sa akin
Now your employees have no excuse to keep calling me and harassing me.
Being nice has gotten me nowhere and wasted a lot of my time. As a result, I’m going to attempt to give you some incentive and also some motivation to remove me from the JPMorgan Chase database.
The NAMBLA Challenge
JPMorgan Chase has a history of financially molesting homeowners. As a result, I have decided to donate $10 cash in your name and JPMorgan Chase’s name to the pro-pedophilia group, NAMBLA. NAMBLA is also known as the National Man/Boy Love Association. I will donate $10 for every phone call I receive from JPMorgan Chase about this client from this day forward
I have attached a link below to enlighten you about NAMBLA and their cause:
I also want to be very clear. NAMBLA should not be confused with the North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes.
I’m sorry if this incentive to your institution seems juvenile but it appears to be the only way to get JPMorgan Chase’s attention.
It seems like your employees love my website, www.mfi-miami.com. I get at least 100 visits a week from JPMorgan Chase servers.